So here we are Tuesday and I still haven’t been able to shake this whole “cornrow” situation that blew up on Twitter regarding NK. At this point, my anger and disgust more so stem from her reaction to all of this, whether than her initial actions of wearing the style. True everyone makes mistakes, but how one goes about the situation in the end is what can deem one noble. The case here is that NK simply feels as if she did no wrong, therefore she will never take responsibility for her offensive actions. There wasn’t a drop of nobility to her response to the backlash, which is important to note, because most of it came from the same black and brown people in the community she claims to care about. Her excuses, invalid points and retweets from clueless supporters shined a bright light on her white supremacy and entitlement. Rather than listen and attempt to have a constructive conversation about her use of the term “ghetto” and cultural appropriation, she jumped right into defense mode. The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was her having the audacity to call one of the most dedicated people to diversity in the scene right now, whom also happens to be a black woman, a racist. That’s the point when I lost all respect.

“How dare you speak to me this way” NK tweeted in response to one of the tweets critiquing her actions. It’s clear to me that this woman has never had anyone check her ass, and she simply folded under the pressure- I for one am not surprised. People like her spend their careers profiting off black culture, yet when it comes down to it, our concerns are invalid to them. This entire situation reflects that. These are the same type of folks who will run around screaming “black lives matter”, yet when it’s time to a be a true ally mf’s are SILENT. Personally, what I want to know is, where are all of the top white feminist DJ’s in this conversation? The social justice warrior types who always have something to say about every political thing yet won’t use their platform and white privilege to denounce the inappropriate actions of one of their peers. Again, not surprised. When sticking up for black people is convenient, everyone is on top of it, but I suppose this situation isn’t the most convenient one (being the power of the woman in question), so they don’t say shit. Ain’t that a bitch?

This entire situation has been equally draining and nauseating. I like to consider myself a strong person, but I won’t lie, this situation has hit me to my core. It’s one thing to have internet trolls coming for me, but for another black woman and DJ that I at one point admired and looked up to, come at me publicly telling me that I’m speaking out on all of this in hopes of “attention” or “accolades” is seriously disappointing. My initial tweet on this topic (that just happened to blow up on Twitter), received way more attention than I imagined. I was in a heated mental state and typed the first thing that came to mind. I don’t need attention, I’m not a hater, nor am I jealous. I’m a black woman who is passionate about my culture, dance music, and braids for that matter- I rock them about 60% of the time. I’m wondering if this person, someone who I’ve known for years, and is a fellow black woman, would have had my back the same way had I been in question about something? Now I’m not here to disrespect anyone, but I am indeed a 34-year-old grown ass woman who is not afraid to speak to my mind. As I mentioned above, the silence and ignorant statements from many on this issue are VERY telling. Scary to think that these are some of the same folks we rub elbows with at clubs and festivals around the globe.

As a black woman who wears cornrows on a regular basis, I find pride and strength in rocking the style, and it often feels like a form of resistance against the white society that tells me I need to wear my hair straight to be accepted. Perhaps this is what makes the topic a sensitive one, because to me, the style is not simply a fad or a costume for the night- it’s my heritage. Here’s a quick story for reference; when Resident Advisor reached out to me to contribute to their infamous podcast series I was elated, I felt like it would be the perfect opportunity for me to put some shine on my DJ career. When it came time to select a photo to accompany the podcast, I immediately told myself I would go with one of my more “polished” photos wearing straight hair- I told myself this was “prettier” and would draw more attention to the mix. I soon after realized how stupid I was being, and that I too was playing into society’s preference for European beauty standards. At that point I said the hell with it, I’m going to rep for the culture like I’ve been doing, I mean, that is what my platform, Underground & Black is all about. So yeah, the decision to use a picture with me wearing cornrows was a conscious one, one that was rooted in much more than simply being “cool”, “bad ass” or “ghetto” for the night. At the end of the day though, I realize that no matter how shitty NK’s cornrows looked, me, a black woman in the same exact industry with the same exact style, would never, and will never, receive the same amount of love and compliments for doing it.

Why is it so often that white people get applauded for doing the same exact things that black people have been doing for centuries? It’s truly absurd how so many seem to be completely unaware of how frustrating stuff like this is for black people. We literally cannot have ANYTHING to ourselves. We live in a world where people get upset that we get one measly month to celebrate our culture. We live in a world where non-black people think it is acceptable to use the “N” word simply because we do. We live in a world where non-black people profit off our culture, language, music, style, etc, everyday single day, all the while many of us still struggle on the sidelines. White people run our society, have a much better chance at successfully navigating through this tainted world and are somehow still upset about black people wanting to keep certain things solely in our community. The white entitlement is clear as day, and way too many folks feel so openly entitled to everything.

This is the world we live in, and I realize some of you will never know what it’s like to be a black man or woman living in a white man’s world. From day 1 of stepping into DJing I knew I’d never be the most popular or make the most money even if I truly was the best at it, and honestly, I’m okay with that. Unbeknownst to some, I’m not in this game for fame and fortune, I’m in this shit because its my passion. Being that I am a black woman born and raised in Detroit, this is literally my roots, my upbringing- I’ve been involved in this shit since I was a kid, and it’s important to me that folks know that. That they know my sheer commitment to everything dance music related, whether it be this very blog, my radio show, an interview I conduct, or a black artist I book.  I am someone out here making a true contribution, as is Frankie of Discwoman, yet here we are being shaded for speaking out on what is right and what is wrong. The irony.

I’m convinced a lot of people truly do not understand the concept of bullying. Holding someone accountable for shitty mistakes is NOT bullying. A critique of someone’s careless actions is not hating, nor a reflection of what someone thinks of this person’s musical ability. People are turning this thing into something that it is not without realizing the bigger picture, which is that this conversation is much bigger than NK. This is not the first and not the last time this discussion will be had, trust me.

As I wrap all of this up, I simply want to say, LISTEN. Listen when black people or minority groups get offended about certain words, behaviors, or actions; show us the respect of hearing us out. Writing us off and ignoring our concerns is not conducive to growth and understanding. Also, if you call yourself an “ally”, stand up for us. SAY SOMETHING. White silence on these types of issues is one of the main reasons why things like cultural appropriation bothers us. This idea that it’s okay to mimic black people when its time to look “cool” and “have fun”, but when shit gets real many of yall are nowhere to be found.  I could talk about this shit all day to be honest, but I’m choosing to move forward. Many of us have our points and thank you to those that stood up and showed solidarity. The black community came together on this, and it is important that we remember to come together ALL OF THE TIME, not just when these types of battles arise.

It was important for me to use my platform to talk about this, because we all know every other outlet is going to tip toe around it and wait for it to blow over just like every other “Techno Twitter” battle.  These are valid discussions that need be had, and the work doesn’t stop with this post. All of my Underground & Black projects have been about CELEBRATING and INSPIRING, and that is what I plan to continue to do. And hey, if I have to call bullshit on certain things from time to time, I’m down for that too. Although my blackness may be a trend and novelty to you, it is not to me, and I take it very seriously.  I am not shocked to see how offended some get when a black woman speaks her mind, this is how the story goes people! Today, I still stand with my head high knowing that I got the cities of Detroit and Atlanta behind me. I’m going to keep doing me yall.

Peace.

I know I often used to start these things with my regret about not updating the blog enough, so this time I’ve decided to not go that route. What I will say though, is that I’ve missed this outlet, and it feels good to be back. It also feels good to be back in Atlanta chillin’ at my favorite coffee shop on a Friday off from work. I have the next 3 days free from my day job, as well as the weekend off from DJing, so I definitely plan to take this free time to focus on self care while also staying productive, as there’s always work to be done.

This past weekend I had to pleasure to complete my third Europe tour. Being that my schedule is somewhat limited due to my day job, this trip only consisted of two gigs. The first gig in Foligno, Italy was initially booked at the infamous Serendipity Club, a club that has hosted the likes of Jeff Mills and Little Louie Vega. As with the climate of today’s club culture, the venue unfortunately is having permit issues which I was told is in the works of being resolved. That being said, the promoters were able to find another venue and promoter to join forces with so that the event could still take place, and for that I was very gracious.

It was my first time going to Italy, and it really was a shame that my time there was so limited. That’s one of the crazy aspects of DJing- you travel the world yet sometimes there’s only enough time for dinner and the gig. It is definitely a blessing when you get those opportunities to have an extra day or two to be a tourist or whatever…that’s also when you start blowing your gig money though, so sometimes its best to simply get in and get out. DJ tours are nothing but business trips. People from the outside may look at it as a party or vacation, which I guess can sometimes be true, but for the most part you are working. You are working with your booking agency, different promoters, drivers, assistants, you are following itineraries, etc…it’s not rocket science, but you do need to be responsible to make sure you are on point and not missing flights or being late for pick-ups, dinner’s and what not.

Although Italy was mostly work I did get to experience an amazing homemade Italian dinner at DJ Ralph’s home made by his mother. I won’t lie, I don’t remember the name of half the things we ate lol, but it truly was a lovely spread. Different types of pastas, beefs, vegetables and breads, paired with a crisp white wine. As we all sat at the table dining I couldn’t help but to just smile. To myself I’m thinking “like damn, my ass is really out here in Italy”! It felt great, and honestly a vision that I had always had of my life. Me off in some distant land or country exploring, growing culturally, and living my best damn life…and here I was doing it…doing it again for that matter as I’ve been to Europe a few times now. I hate that I never shared my first experiences in Europe, but I always get the feeling that people are drawn to me over there because they can feel just how happy and excited I am to be there…it’s somewhat of a “soul glow”, if you will.

I had two DJ appearances in Italy, one at cafe/record shop called BPMdischi, and the other at a club called Cantiere 21. The cafe appearance was first and was really fun, I had a great time playing records with DJ  Soch, a local hero in Foligno. This was the first tour I decided to pack records along with me on, and I am so glad that I did. I’m not really one to partake in the vinyl vs. digital debate, but I will say that I do feel a bit more accomplished now that I’m more comfortable playing records out and about. I am still majority a digital DJ, but I made the commitment early this year to start playing and buying more vinyl, and I have successfully acted upon it. I think it’s important to keep growing as an artist or creative, and I love being able to bring something new to the table. I get asked about production a lot, which I’m sure I’ll dive into at some point, but for right now I’m simply focused on being the dopest DJ I can be, and of course on continuing to grow this phenomenon called “Underground & Black”.

After completing two gigs on basically no sleep in Italy, it was time to head to London for SecretSundaze. The journey from Foligno to the airport in Rome was two hours that I took full advantage of for sleep. I literally felt like I closed my eyes, opened them and was suddenly at the airport lol. Those early airport trips after a gig are seriously brutal. That’s the behind the scenes shit y’all don’t see about the “glamorous DJ life” lol. Luckily when working with good promoters and agencies you get great seats on flights as well as priority boarding. I sat my black ass in 2A and dozed off for another couple of hours then woke up in one of my favorite cities, London!

As I approached arrivals there stood the well dressed driver holding the “Ash Lauryn” sign. I so wanted to take a pic but had to act natural so I opted not to put him on blast lol. He grabs my bag and escorts me to a Mercedes Van equipped with lots of extra space for me to sprawl out on. It was another almost two hour journey from London Gatwick Airport to London, so this was another opportunity to sneak in some rest. Working with legendary people/promoters like SecrectSundaze I knew I would be well taken care of, and realized this even more as we arrived at the posh hotel I’d be staying in. I check in, get my keys and head to my room. When I arrived at the door(s) to the room, I thought it was a mistake, as I’m thinking this wasn’t a hotel room, yet a small event space. To my surprise the key worked, and I walk in to what appears to be a small apartment. The room was so lovely, I really was in awe! This was definitely not your typical Euro tiny ass hotel room lol, but a suite. After all the traveling it felt so amazing to have this space to myself for a bit. Staying true to DJ fashion though, I only had 2 1/2 hours till my DJ set.

I arrived at Oval Space a few minutes after 5pm as I’m wrapping up my conversation with the taxi driver who knew all about SecretSudanze and house music…lol typical London stuff! As I walk into the DJ booth I instantly feel as if I’m inside of some sort of spaceship…all I saw was gear upon gear and knobs upon knobs. At that point I felt kinda glad to be playing first inside as I truly needed a moment to get my bearings with it all. People forget that I’ve only been doing this DJ stuff on a professional level for a little under 3 years now, so I definitely don’t know how to do it all! After about the first 30 minutes it felt like smooth sailing, and lot’s of people from outside started to come inside to vibe with me. I also made a new friend with a fellow DJ called Helena Star who came out to support me and it made me feel so good to have a woman there supporting me though it all. Giles and James of SecretSundzae are honestly some the kindest souls, and I was very drawn to their warm energy. I recall telling Giles just how happy and in shock I was to be up there playing music at their legendary gathering. I never imagined some of these things happening to me actually happening, and I swear sometimes I just have to pinch myself to make sure its all real.

I got some serious partying and dancing on after my set, and had lot’s of people approach with kind words, which also turned into emails and dm’s the following day thanking me for the music. I do not say this to boast or brag, but simply to explain how lovely it feels to connect with people through music. Music is the single most important thing in my life, and to know that I’m doing it right, and in a way that touches people’s hearts and souls gives me purpose. While I was playing a woman handed me a note that read I’m her inspiration, and this too gives me purpose. I often have friends or peers tell me that I inspire them, and it so powerful, as hearing those words in return inspires me. I too have those that I look up to and admire and if we all can continue to be positive and uplift one another I think this music stuff can be great.

SecretSundaze was by far one of the biggest/best parties I’ve ever played, and I was in love with the diversity and energy of the crowd. At one point there had to have been at least 10 black women all in the DJ booth dancing to Marcellus then Joe- it was so beautiful! Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the SecretSundaze crew for giving me the opportunity to share the music I love, while also sharing a bill with legendary act’s like Joe Claussell and Marcellus Pittman-both of whom I got meet and chat briefly with. Completing this gig was truly an accomplishment of my career, and I have no doubt that things will only be up from here.

I’m back in the states now gearing up for Detroit where I’ll be hosting my very first Movement Festival Weekend event. The event came together seamlessly and with every passing day I get a little more excited and equally nervous. I do know that it is going to be something special, and it is my hope that this will turn into an annual thing, so please come out, and please support black music! Since I started this blog a couple years ago I have become familiar and acquainted with so many young black people involved in the realm of underground dance music, and that mere fact gives me hope. When I started Underground & Black, I was fearful that the culture of this music was slipping away from us, but as of late I do feel like there is some serious reclamation going on, and to that I can only smile. There is still lots of work to be done, and of course the usual bullshit white washed politics of this music, but I think we’re up to something good. Even with this platform and U&B Radio show, I feel like I’ve gotten people’s attention, and that was one of my purposes. I want/ed people to know that I’m a black woman involved in dance music who is proud of our cultures contributions, roots and sound, and will stop at nothing to preserve it. I now know that I’m not alone on this, and plan to keep pushing as will all of us!

Forever doing it for the culture!

See you in Detroit.

-Ash ❤

Fall is officially here and its time to grind. I’ve spent the past few months promoting and staying busy, but as of late have had an extreme drive to get back into whats really important to me, the music- not the hype. Being actively involved in social media for years of ones life can often be extremely distracting, and not to mention stressful. I know we’ve all been there; scrolling social media aimlessly, feeling sorry for ourselves while seeing other people “living their best lives” and what not. It can all be quite overwhelming at times, and its totally okay to take a few steps back to focus on your damn self for a while. I honestly don’t know how healthy it could be to know peoples every move, gig, setback, or milestone anyway. I suppose its all about finding a healthy balance, which goes for many things in life. Sometimes I get frustrated about the state of things in regards to music, yet can only appreciate the frustration as it often makes me want to work harder and smarter. Whats also important to me is this here blog, and what will come of it as time progresses. I want to feature and celebrate all the amazing black people contributing to the culture, and I will try my best to do that here, and though my NTS radio slot.

I’ve gotten a few emails and requests for some of the tracks on my Truants mix, so I decided to drop the track list here. I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to listen or reach out to me personally to tell me they enjoyed it. This mix includes music from some very close to me, some I hold in very high regard, and some who stay inspiring me musically. I never intentionally plan to record a mix that features about 90% black artists, but as I mentioned in the interview, black music is what resonates most with my soul, and I think its important that this music be embraced and played as much as possible. Please do not tell me its not about race, because many will never experience the joy and freedom that I feel as a black woman playing black music that was born in exact same city as myself. Playing black music in a country that doesn’t want me here, yet and still doing it with a smile. Knowing all of that, and being able to play this music freely not only in America, but across the world is a phenomenon that I will forever recognize. Black people, and black culture has had a profound influence on the world, and frankly, the world would be stale without it. Support black music, black people, and never forget the roots of this gift to all of us- post the David Guetta article, you see how easy it is for history to be misconstrued.

1. Cromie- Informal Path (Stefan Ringer Remix)
2. Atjazz- Facet of Jazz
3. Karizma- Tech This Out
4. Byron The Aquarius- Nights in Jakarta
5. Javonntte- Sweet Midnight Dub
6. Patrice Scott- Movin It
7. King Britt, Oba Funke- Uzoamaka (Nuno Dos Santos Bonus Beats)
8. Submission- Women Beat Their Men (Celvin’s Peak Hour Dub)
9. Patrice Scott- Be Free
10. Mr. G.- My Farda’s Father (Sound Bouy Dub)
11. A Made Up Sound- Rework
12. Stefan Ringer, Kai Alce- Simple Confusion
13. WBeeza- Bizzle Boogie
14. Waajeed- Strength (Jon Dixon Remix)
15. Peven Everett- Feelin You In And Out
16. DJ Aakmael- Spreadsomluv
17. Son Of Sound- Please Stand By And Move
18. Steven Julien- Bloodline

Hey there, its me! The girl who deleted her last post because she wasn’t content with the way it turned out. Um yeah- Although well written, I realize it was  “just one of those days”, and that maybe I shouldn’t put that type of energy out there. Rewind to that day, which was about a week ago, and I was feeling extremely insecure and uncertain of the future. That is still true in some aspects, as we all have our insecurities and uncertainties in life, yet here I am today with a much better outlook on things. I went from being jobless with only one gig booked for the entire month of October, to getting two job offers and 4 gig opportunities all in less than a weeks time. It actually made me feel quite stupid as I was freaking out over what ended up to be nothing but overthinking and overanalyzing. What that situation taught me though, is to simply have patience, because you never know what the future has in store.

I also deleted my last post because I didn’t want to seem entitled, or ungrateful. I know there are tons of people who would kill to do some of the things I’ve had the opportunities to do in regards to music and DJing. I do think the difference between me and a lot of folks though, is that I made a conscious decision to not simply choose the DJ path as a novelty, but as a career. I’m still figuring that part of my life out, and even though I’m starting a new day job next week, my ultimate goal is to still be a full time DJ touring the world. I don’t think those aspirations are illegitimate, but I think a lot of people are fearful of even attempting to pursue that path. I’m saying all of this to say that this is the reason why I’m so hard on myself about gigs and what not, because I want to do this full time. You know, like the new catch phrase “booked and busy”, thats what I’m trying to be! That being said, I decided to move forward with the day job mainly for financial reasons, oh and then theres the health benefits and all.

This new chapter is going to be an interesting one, but I’m up for the challenge. I still have my weekends to myself, so I at least will still be able to do stateside stuff when opportunities arise. One of the main aspects of life that I’m starting to respect more is simply putting in work to get to where you want to be, no matter what it takes. Sure I may not be able to sleep in anymore, or take extended vacations, but trust me, when its all said and done I’ll get that back. I had a nice 7 month break of traveling and basically doing whatever the hell I want, so now its time to get back disciplined. To be honest, I’ve never really been the hardest worker, and I’m still learning how to be. On the contrary, I’m all about enjoying life and taking time for family, friends, and travel, so don’t worry- I’ll never lose sight of that, as its who I am as a person.

Speaking of hard work, I’d like to mention my recent Truants Mix that dropped yesterday. I recorded 3 versions of it, and absolutely loved the 3rd one, minus a little slip up during a transition, and one track that I simply wasn’t feeling, so I recorded it one more time hoping for perfection. I can’t say perfection was the outcome, but I can say that I am in love with the mix, and worked hard on it. I’m proud of the outcome, and have been following the Truants Blog for a couple years now after I obsessed over Mr. G.’s Truancy Volume from 2016. As some of you know,  I got really anti guest mix for a while, but not for a second was I going to turn down this opportunity. Something I strongly believe in is quality over quantity-so whether than do 20 regular ass guest mixes, I rather do 3 quality and meaningful mixes. I played the music I love, and I hope I got my point across. What’s cool about DJing is that its an opportunity to show the world just how unique you are. The music I play is a reflection of my soul, and I hope you feel me when you hear it.

Moving into my second year as a DJ, I don’t think I could ask for more. Trust me, I’m not rich, and I haven’t all the way “made it”, but I’m on my way. My experiences in Europe were incredible, and I will never forget a second of it. From playing with Josey Rebelle and Peggy Gou at Dimensions Festival, to being on the guest list at Berghain, to playing after Fred P. at Tresor- it was all magical! The weekend before last in NYC and DC was also amazing. The DC gig was posh, and gave me a taste of what this life could really be like. Car service, dope hotel, quality food and drink (which was all free btw), I mean damn, it was so cool! And not to take away from NYC at Le Bain with Stefan, bc we had so much fun. The summer was filled with so many memories, so many lovely people, and so many positive experiences that have left me forever changed- playing the music that I love is something I deeply cherish.

I’m sure this post isn’t as compelling as the one I deleted was, but these words feel much better. Theres nothing wrong with being transparent, or “keeping it real”, but this post is real too, perhaps even realer, because I am actually happy in many aspects. I have a lot to be grateful for, as do many of you, so thats what I’m choosing to focus on right now. As humans, we all have those days when we are down, and thats okay, but when you’re down, take some time to think about all the things we have to smile about, because best believe theres someone out there who’s got it way worse than you.

In closing I just want to say thank you again for all the love and support! As a black woman trying to navigate in a world that often doesn’t want to see us win, I’m making my mark on this earth and that wouldn’t be possible without so many of you! To the readers, listeners, believers, dancers, and supporters, I appreciate you!!!!!

-Ash ❤