When crisis brings out the ugly in people…

With the Covid-19 pandemic in full swing theres a lot going on in the world right now- most of which is impossible for many of us to wrap our heads around. I just got back to the states from Europe yesterday after my entire DJ tour was cancelled before it even actually began- I know many others can relate to some degree. And while some plan to lose more than others, this really isn’t the time for comparisons; we’re all faced with the same harsh reality; major loses of income. This whole ordeal comes at an interesting time for me not only because I DJ and work in a gig based economy, but also because I just left my full-time, decent pay, full benefit job just last month. The timing of my departure from the corporate world felt right regardless of losing my benefits and the guaranteed income; I worked hard to get to the point where I could sustain myself off music and was beyond excited to embark on the chapter. Sitting here today with the future of my DJ career unknown, I can’t say I now regret my decision to leave my job. In the weeks following my departure the creative juices were flowing and it felt amazing to simply live life on my own terms. Its day 1 of my quarantine since arriving back in the states, and to say the least, my mind is racing.

What’s crazy about dealing with these type of worldwide emergencies in modern day is that we are all still very much connected to one another thanks to things like the internet, social media, and television. And while one would think our access to these resources would bring us together, it actually in fact, in many cases, tears us apart. Over the past few days I’ve witnessed some cruel reactions to those asking for financial assistance and to those simply stating their frustrations or fear of the unknown. I understand tensions are high right now, but it’s truly disappointing to read some peoples responses to those in fear or need. The way I look at it is this; if you want to donate to a cause and its something you believe in, go ahead and do it. If its something you do not see fit to donate to, simply don’t and move on. Enough with the call out culture and hot takes- some of the behavior on these platforms is just as toxic as the damn virus itself. In a time of panic and confusion, why spread more negativity when we can offer support and understanding? It seems as if folks just sit around and wait for the right moment to shame people and when the opportunity strikes all hell breaks loose. I myself even fell victim to contributing to the negativity online and had to stop and check myself; so many of us are acting off emotion whether than logic and thats one of the problems. Its also eye opening, yet not surprising, to see how people start acting when it comes to money matters.

I don’t know about every DJ out there, but I’ve never seen anything wrong with deejaying while also holding down a full or part-time job, many of us do it. Whats tricky though, is actually being able to maintain the two successfully. From my personal experience, working full-time and deejaying was great in terms of financial security, but it also meant that I was forced to turn down certain opportunities. It was also extremely exhausting at times. Most jobs won’t let you take time off to go complete a DJ tour outside of the country, which is something that is important when you are trying to get a global reach. It can also put a major strain on your ability to create as working full time in America takes up so much time and energy- usually when I got home from work I was drained mentally and physically and far from inspired. I say all of this to explain that it’s not always so simple to just “get a job” or “keep a job” while also trying to pursue a full-time DJ career. I don’t think me leaving my job was irresponsible in the least bit, and I don’t think that others that may be in this same are position are either. On the contrary, I do think that in current day many are eager to jump into this life full time without a real back-up plan and thats what many need to focus on right now. I hope that this 14 day or more quarantine will give us time to brainstorm just that.

Through all of this, I know many have been told to “stay strong” which is right, we have to. But also don’t be afraid to cry or to even be a little angry, we need not to ignore these emotions; addressing them has helped me keep my sanity. The past few days I was so focused on “staying safe”, and “being strong”, that I hadn’t had time to truly address the sorrow I felt within. No one has the right to question your hurt or struggle. Our passions,  livelihoods, and futures are all in jeopardy right now, its okay to be worried about that. I do not suggest dwelling, but sometimes you gotta get through the hurt and crying phase to get to the plan of action phase. It felt the most real for me yesterday as I got back to my apartment with all of my luggage in tow from what was supposed to be a 1 month tour in Europe. As I dragged my luggage and record bag up the sidewalk towards my building the tears started to flow freely- it was a sobering moment I’m sure I won’t forget. My world isn’t over by any means, but after planning my last day at work with this tour in mind, and all that I had to look forward to in the months after no longer happening definitely sucks. Nonetheless, now that I’m home and attempting to re-settle I’ve been focused on what’s next. While there are plenty of high profile and highly paid DJ’s that can sit back and quarantine for even a few years easily if necessary, the reality for many of us isn’t as such.

I’ve been seeing the word “entitlement” thrown around a lot lately, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I too appear to be some entitled touring DJ crying about losing gigs and cancelled travel? The reality though, is that this situation is so much deeper than cancelled gigs or flights; people are worried about their finances for the most part. Thats how real it is out here, some can’t afford to put all of their focus on health and safety right now because they could potentially be homeless in a month or two- its a scary thing to acknowledge. Rent, food, car payments, etc. unfortunately don’t get cancelled, so yes, people are stressing. While most, including myself, plan take care of ourselves and use what resources we have to get by for the next few months, we don’t know everyones situation, some are worse off than others. Let’s not judge and act like someone can just go find another job overnight. Who’s to say right now is a even a good time for someone to find a job? With all the club, bar, school, and business closures, it might be a while before companies start hosting interviews again- we truly have no way of knowing right now. Stop the judging, stop the shit talking, and think about something positive you can bring to this dark situation.

Speaking of positive, in the midst of the madness, we thankfully have also witnessed solidarity and community focused ideas being created, that is exactly what we need more of; positivity and creativity. Many clubs and DJ’s have already started putting together live DJ streams from home or empty clubs, giving viewers the option to donate if they wish. Mix series are being created, producers are jumping back into the studio, and many are putting up merchandise for sale in hopes of collecting funds to stay afloat as we sit in limbo. All of that said, not all is lost, yet. If you’re having anxiety about rent don’t be afraid to reach out to your landlord to see if there’s anything you can work out; you never know, people might be willing to be a little more generous given the state of things. I plan to not give up, and I hope those reading this do not either. If you need to take a break from social media, DO IT. Social media causes so much unnecessary stress and  anxiety that the only way to truly avoid it sometimes is to log off. Read a book, do some yoga, write in your journal, record a mix, talk of the phone, etc. We still have plenty of options for creativity within the courtesy of our own homes- lets not forget that. And while we all may be physically quarantined with no clubs, large gatherings, or festivals, the music remains. Music can never be contained, and for that I smile.

Take care or yourselves out there.

2 Replies to “When crisis brings out the ugly in people…”

  1. “Music can never be contained, and for that I smile” – (love it!). “Before there was soul, hip hop, electro, techno, old house style there was the sound of tribal beats coming from the area widely known for the first life on this planet, the first man on earth also walked here. This man developed a way of communicating which was to become an important part of his survival. These strange patterns of sound were called rhythm, rhythm then was not a leisurely thing, it was a way of life, methods of rhythm helped early man to get in touch with the universe and his small part in it, he discovered some of the secrets of the rhythms of nature. I believe that some of these trance like rhythms reflect my frustraction to know the truth about my ancestors who talked wih drums.
    Does time work in rhythm… or does rhythm work in time. We have advanced to a level where we can control time solely by stretching of sound…. we play with sound… we play with time”.
    Get it.
    Gerald Deep in the Jungle
    A Guy Called Gerald – Black Secret Technology.

    Hi Lauren… I know quotes & random words don’t pay bills in these crazy scary times. I just wanted to say though, never give up, never self doubt. Your vibe, your selections, your DJing.. moves & inspires so many poeple. Your passion for music creates so many good times all across the world, you don’t even know. Like you said “music cannot be contained, and for that I smile”. So if ever you feel the pressure, know that there are people… ‘all around the world, moving to your city beat’ !!!

    Peace & massive respect.

    Liked by 1 person

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